- Rabbi promised this year’s service much more fun and upbeat
- Great time to brush up on your ABCs of Sin
- JC Penney having its annual Day O’ Sufferin’ White Sale
- One day of year that you get to make your “A-Toney the Tiger” joke
- Infidelities from previous six months pretty much taken care of now
- Fewer candy wrapper sounds than at regular service
- Terrific time to really read all 3,259 memorial plaques in temple hallway
- Silent Prayer – good time to think about all the bacon and shellfish you’ll be eating at break fast
- Silent Prayer – great time to imagine Cantor suddenly breaking into Battle of Evermore
- Pre-paid ambulances ready and waiting for post-break fast heart attacks and food comas
- Fasting and gorging good practice for future anorexics
- Fun visit from Yom Kippur Kevin and his Big’ Bag O’ Guilt
- Having to explain to older folks that YK is not a virus that will attack their computer
- Going into confessional booth to tell the Rabbi your sins
- You waited all year to hear the Shofar and now, finally – wait, what?
Alex Bernstein 