curtains on fire

Extremely excited to announce – somewhat late, actually – CURTAINS ON FIRE – a new theatrical podcast produced by the Rising Curtain Theatre Company in NJ. This is a project that was started by me and the Director of RC, Ted Wrigley, in April of last year. The company had just come off of three sold-out performances of Miserable Love Stories – an evening of pieces from my then newly released book.  The show was successful – and Ted and I were looking for new projects that we could do while everyone was still sheltering at home during COVID.

With Curtains on Fire we invited several NJ and New York writers and performers to join us in a weekly workshop creating mini-plays based on assignments.  The workshops have been running almost weekly for about eight months now and the group has grown to 14+ writers, including some in NY, NJ, Cincinnati, and even Albuquerque, New Mexico! The group has generated hundred of mini-plays at this point, many of which have also been picked up by other outlets, including our friends at Gone In 60 Seconds.

We’ve released two podcasts so far and are working on our third.  You can find them on all your favorite podcast players.  Below is all of podcast #2, featuring new works by Jay Strong, Tarek Salib, and Nat Gennace.

Give it a listen!  We think there’s some very compelling stuff here.

miserable holiday stories

Very excited to announce the release of the NEW improved version of Miserable Holiday Stories – just in time for the upcoming holiday season!

From the copy blurb:

Throw another yule log on the fire and let the seasonal suffering begin! No matter what holiday you celebrate, these quirky yet bittersweet tales will have you longing for mid-January. Featuring Jewish Elvis impersonators, a kidnapped Santa Claus, confused parents, horrific holiday traffic, unbreakable toys and the ever-heroic Bicycle Boys, Miserable Holiday Stories will be sure to have you asking, “who ate all the $#!@% figgy pudding?!”

This upgraded 2.0 version comes from the fine folks at Skyhorse Publishing, and contains eleven new pieces, including the entire (kid-friendly) novella The Unbreakable Toy!

Miserable Holiday Stories is the latest “Miserable” release and a lovely year-end gift for all those friends and relatives who you feel haven’t suffered enough already in 2020!

the dog & pony show

Lots of exciting news this week – first of which is the launch of “The Dog & Pony Show“!

The Dog & Pony Show is a hilarious new series about two very different best friends who choose to leave their magical world behind and move to the not-so-magical big city!

D&P was developed for Discovery Kids and should be appearing on Canadian and Latin America TV any day now.  This Red Knot/Little Aiplane production is the second LA project I’ve been involved with over the last few years and it was an utter delight to work on.  It’s aimed squarely at the 4-7 age crowd (think Spongebob on the slightly younger side) and the storylines are fast, funny and extremely smart.  The last LA show I worked on (P. King Duckling) quickly ended up on Netflix, so I expect to hear where this one will be streaming in the U.S. pretty soon.

miserable events 2020!


Cancel your vacation plans!

Miserable Love Stories drops into stores tomorrow – February 4th – just in time for Valentine’s Day!  (Yes, it was rescheduled from its original January release date.) We already had one great event at Joseph Beth Booksellers in Cincinnati a couple weeks ago.  And we have a TON of events coming up soon in February, which you should absolutely come to – especially if you live in New Jersey!

Saturday, February 8, 2-4p – Meet and Greet and book signing at incredibly fabulous The Town Bookstore in Westfield, NJ. Stop by and share your most awful Valentine’s Day story, meet the author and get a book signed!

Wednesday, February 12, 7-8p – Reading and book signing at Watchung Booksellers in Montclair, NJ. This is a full-on reading – that means we read some pieces from the book – and book signing! Featuring laughs, tears, and possibly awkward audience participation! No doubt, there’ll probably be a blizzard that day.

And then – then! – it’s theater time!  

Fri-Sat, February 14-15 – Miserable Love Stories! at the Rising Curtain Theatre in Bloomfield, NJ.  (Three performances only!  Fri at 8p; Sat at 6 and 8p)  Director Ted Wrigley has done a phenomenal job with a truly brilliant cast of some of the funniest actors in NJ.  (We’re talking deep, deep improv and stand-up experience for most of the cast.)  So, it’s going to be a highly memorable evening.  Please note – this is a small black box theatre (and a large cast) and seats are already selling out .  If you’re interested in this show, please contact the theater asap! I’ll also be signing books at this event, too.   

Click on the links above for more information on all the events. And how cool is this poster?

Miserable Love Stories will be available in bookstores across the nation.  Click here to order the book directly from the publisher!

 

miserable love stories!

I’m incredibly excited to announce that my Miserable series has been picked up by Skyhorse Publishing!  And the newest book Miserable Love Stories is scheduled for release in January, 2020, just in time for Valentine’s Day.  This news has been bubbling up for most of the past year – but now that we have the cover and are moving to the final production stages, I’m thrilled to release the information.  MLS will be part of Skyhorse’s Racehorse imprint and will have distribution through Simon & Schuster.

Subtitled 25 Romantic Disasters That are Worse Than Yours and featuring stories that have appeared in such eclectic journals as New Pop Lit, The Big Jewel, Gi60, Blue Skirt Productions, MidAmerican Fiction and The Legendary, Miserable Love Stories is now available for pre-order on Amazon and at fine bookstores pretty much everywhere.

After MLS, the next book in the series is scheduled for release later in the 2020.  It’s a significant expansion of one of the current Miserable books and will render the previous version as a collector’s item!  So, pick up the originals now while you still can!

 

And here’s the blurb copy for Miserable Love Stories:

Funny Short Stories for Heart-Breakers, the Broken-Hearted and the Completely Utterly Confused

Whether you’re headed to that exciting first date where you’ll inevitably spill Cabernet all over yourself or you and your significant other are celebrating Date Night #4,081 with an extra pint of Halo Top, everyone can agree on one thing: Love Stinks. How to escape the endless cycle of melancholy? Well, you probably can’t. What you can do is take comfort in humorist Alex Bernstein’s new collection of stories about miserable mad crushes, amorous infidelities and bittersweet romances.

Hear stories of horrific bridesmaids’ dresses, strange love at airports, awkward confessions, manic pixie dream girls, uncomfortable road trips, the bizarre state of future sex and, of course, true, everlasting love. So, curl up with your favorite valentine and enjoy such titles as:

Circle in the Square
The Qualified Apology
The Eight Hour Kiss
The Deli Chick
The Forrest Gump Question
Sexpo 2041
Come Home Soon
My Annoying Mother
And more!

Commiserate lost love and painfully awkward first dates with Miserable Love Stories!

 

miserable adventure stories wins 2018 best indie book award!

I’m incredibly thrilled and honored to announce that Miserable Adventure Stories has won the Best Indie Book Award for 2018 in the Novella/Short Story Collection category!

The Best Indie Book Award™ is an annual international literary award contest recognizing independent authors in twelve major genres. Entries are limited to independently (indie) published books, including those from small presses, e-book publishers, and self-published authors.  #BestIndieBookAward

Featuring stories from New Pop Lit, The Big Jewel, Frontier Tales, Near to the Knuckle, Headstuff, and other literary journals with equally fancy names, Miserable Adventure Stories is a collection of tales calculated to take you to Victorian London, the Old West, alien worlds, Hamlet’s Denmark and other fantastic places that you would absolutely never want to visit!

Miserable Adventure Stories is available in paperback and as an e-book at Amazon.com and fine bookstores everywhere!

For more information on BIBA and the other 2018 award winners, click here.

give the gift of misery!

Even Santa agrees – Miserable Holiday Stories is the perfect holiday gift for that very special someone you’d rather never hear from again!

Featuring the the infamous chapter-book parody “The #$@!# Bicycle Boys Save Christmas, Again!” and stories from such eclectic journals as The Big Jewel, Litro, Corvus, eFiction, Dysfunctional Family Story, The Legendary, Blue Print Review, and Hobo Pancakes!

This collection of quirky, bittersweet tales is a terrific stocking stuffer and cheaper than coal!

Now available in e-book and cheap paperback to boot!

chili challis – BAM!

I was heartsick to hear of the passing of comedian Chili Challis last night. Chili was both a friend and hugely inspirational to me. When I was a teenager in Cincinnati in the late 70’s getting my comedy start at d.w. eye, Chili came in (along with John Riggi and Will Durst) with his extremely solid act, raising the bar for every comic that followed.  I was in awe of Chili (he was Bert Challis back then).  Sometimes he was so good I just got angry and jealous – but in retrospect, I realized that it was because of him, Riggi, and Durst that the eye got put on the map in the first place.  While the rest of us were figuring the game out, and wearing training pants, Challis was giving real legitimacy to the club.

So, then about 10 years ago, when I started writing Plrknib – my book about d.w. eye – I found myself back in touch with Chili. He was hugely supportive of the book, and I discovered how much we had in common: we both loved comedy, comedy writing, nurturing and supporting new comics and talent.  (He spent a tremendous amount of time running well-respected comedy Dojos for stand-up newbies across the country.)  And a few years ago, he introduced me to ComedyWire – one of the nation’s fastest growing comedy writing hubs.

We also both had deep root feelings for Cincinnati and getting our comedy starts at d.w. eye.  And of course friends and family were important to both of us.

So, I was thrilled last year, when Chili didn’t just agree to join me, Michael Flannery, and the other comics for the d.w. eye reunion – but also to bring along his brilliant son and comic, Thaddeus Challis, to join us and carry on the tradition. That’s what Chili was about.

So, I won’t say RIP Chili Challis – I’ll say what he said, everytime he ended one of his GREAT bits: Chili Challis – BAM!


Unfortunately, we didn’t get a lot of pics at the reunion show, but here’s a phenomenal selfie Chili took of himself, Drew, and Marty Polio (who joined us at the last minute) back stage.  3 d.w. eye Legends.

And check out the video above for his performance last year at the eye reunion.

prom selected for portland film festival

Exciting News!  My screenplay, Prom on Mars, is an Official Selection at the upcoming Portland Comedy Film Festival.

Wait – what?!  I hear you cry.  Screenplay?

Yes, once upon a long, long time ago Prom on Mars was my retro-futuristic screenplay about a bunch of kids in the year 2053 taking a three-day shuttle ride to Mars for their senior prom.  (Something of a cross between High School Musical (without the music), Star Trek, and Animal House.)  In the 2000’s – back when I was Reviews Editor for PopImage.com – Prom became a long-running webcomic at that site, and this site was created to house the whole thing.  Prom had a nice run for a few years at those two sites, told it’s story, sold a few indie copies of a print run of the first 50 strips, and then called it a day.

Later, when I started planning for a new website to house my writing, comedy, and publishing efforts, I decided to keep the promonmars url, because I kind of loved the name and the branding, and figured I’d also grab any leftover traffic.  The current site has had almost exclusively all new content.  Although I’ve occasionally re-posted some of the non-Prom strips – eg Total Losers, and Young Christo – but no Prom strips…yet.


Young Christo

In fact, for the past 10 years or so, in my brain, Prom was now a brand (and, technically, a publishing imprint), not a property of it’s own.

That is, until I re-read the original Prom script this past summer for the first time in a decade, and thought hey, that’s not so terrible.  So, I cleaned it up and sent it off to a couple places, including the Portland Film Festival.  And well, there you go.

Wish me luck!  I may even post some of the script or the old webcomics up here, if there’s any interest…